NewMamaz: Welcome to the World little Angel……

NewMamaz: Welcome to the World little Angel……: My Angel, The Day her life on this earth and mine began. I saved all my energy for her (if you kn...

Welcome to the World little Angel……

My Angel, The Day her life on this earth and mine began.

I saved all my energy for her (if you know what I mean)..I know, I have been told and I have even seen in the movies that when babies come out they cry like they are hurt or something. Ooooooh Lord, it didn’t not happen to my angel until five minutes later, those minutes were the most painful, most long waiting I have ever experienced in my entire life. I would take the labour pain and the nine months all over again not to go through those minutes, THEN, only THEN I knew what it means to be given a gift by GOD which is literally a PART of your own flesh.

Ah! Let's not talk about this, cause there those who have been through worse experience than this. Let’s just make it short and say GOD sent angels too help and finally my baby cried.

What Next…………….

One week old, my new hobby is to watch her in her sleep

I have always been so afraid of tiny babies, I mean newborns, Now, here is my own and I’m suppose to hold and protect her. I don’t remember any nurse directing me how to breastfeed my baby and I think I did not for hours and I know that was wrong. Thinking about it now, this could be the reason why I could not get milk for two or three days.

The baby was given to me and I was there staring at this little angel, couldn’t move it, didn’t even know I was suppose to check if she has poo pooed, by the time I was reminded to check the poo was all over her and I could not clean her (I’m SCARED ) I will hurt her doh!. Thanks to GOD the nurse helped but of course with some lecture.

Two nights went by without me closing a single eye, just staring. Went home with a hungry baby, crying like I don’t know what, and she caught fever. I remember there was a moment that I cried out so loud that my sister whom I went to stay with in the first week also started crying. She was so worried about me and I was so worried about my baby.

All of a suddenly I felt like no no no! I did not sign for this, the baby is ill, can’t stop crying, don’t have milk to feed her……………………and since I had not slept for two nights my body was exhausted, I wanted to run away. My mother was around, a few cousins and my sister but with all that help at the end of the day when the baby cant stop crying they all take her back to the mother. Even if they decide to keep trying, a mother cannot rest hearing a baby in pain.

Many mothers if not all go through this Postpartum depression and this is the time where mother needs a professional help that I don’t think many of us get. Our supporting system is not very clear. This is why we need to talk about these things so that a mother does not feel guilty about the way she feels. You may think that you do not deserve to be a mother or you are the worst mother, Nooooo you are not darling, it is a big change and your hormones change and everything around you changes at once, it is too much to bear.

Partners who get a chance to be there for their women should also be prepared for the changes so that they can be a little more supportive. I’m talking to MEN right now………….. the hustles we put you through for nine months and the pain we got through during labour is nothing compared to the abruptly change  a mother go through, well, I don’t know about others but as for me I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for GOD.

Thanks also to the social help because nowadays people share their common experience online. Opening up to your friends and mothers who go through the same things help new mothers to get along with the changes. This is why we are here, to share and to open up before things get worse. Social support helps a lot, we have groups on facebook and all over other networks for mothers to share their worries and fears, let’s involve ourselves with the rest of newmamaz around the world.

Labor rumors and drama

Here is something else that makes lives of many pregnant women even harder. The rumors of how labor is going to be like are just too much. Every person seem to know something about labor, especially the pain part.

I grew up hearing the bad stories about labor. I’m sure many of us heard the stories and made us get so scared to even consider having babies. This was long before we knew that people can opt to push or go for operation. All in all I truly think mothers were trying to explain how deep mother’s love is to her children. I guess it was a figure of speech of a sort.

I’m not saying labor pain isn’t really, but I want to comfort those who are getting there, the future mothers, that we hear a lot of scary stories and not all of them are true. I personally made sure I familiarize myself with the day itself (delivery date). I watched a lot of clips on youtube on labor pain and delivery. I needed to see and get the ideas of the worse scenarios and if there is anything I could do to take my worries away.

I thank GOD that I made up my mind long time ago that I will go natural if all go well, and thank GOD all went well and my doctor said I could deliver naturally. I kinda wanted to experience the pain that every mother on the street is bragging about. We say ‘uchungu wa mwana aujua mzazi’, well, the saying is perfect only that for me I think it implies something else and not the labor pain alone. 

We, future mothers should remember that we are different, so labor pain is experienced differently, there is no common pain. I heard people uswahilini saying that to some people the water breaks through the mouth and so they vomit, GOD, I’m yet to research on that but you guys can help me if that is what it means when a woman in labor pain vomits.

Of course there are basic signs of labor, though when I started my labor pain I just went to cross check with the nurses at the hospital. I was driving near the hospital and I thought there was no harm just walking in and chat with the nurses about the pain that I felt. Honestly I was so calm during my labor and I never forgot to smile when I had a minute to do so. When I asked if what I felt was labor they said I must be joking cause no pregnant woman in labor smiles the way I did. They told me that i had a week or so, for the baby to come and I said well, ok, maybe they are right but I knew what to look for to know that was the  right time. Apart from the pain and the intervals between one pain and the other I knew at some point I will have to see the discharge.

After the hospital trip, of which I was told it was a false labor I took my usual evening walk and when I went back home I saw the big sign. I told my sister in law cause she is stronger than my sister who was also there . So they checked my bag which I had packed two months earlier  and every time a friend or relative visits me at home and want to know what I have packed for the hospital, they remove this one and add another, then someone else comes and removes this and add another. This is another confusion you can get when you involve so many people and you don’t know what you should do. It is very important to be prepared and to have all the necessary information from your hospital and your doctor.

So they packed for the sixth time I suppose, and we all went to bed. Now that night was a hell of a night, the pain continued and the interval became shorter and shorter but never told anyone because I felt like the ten minutes interval was still a lot of time, so I waited for the morning to come. What I learn from my 9 months of reading pregnancy issues was BREATHING, I made sure I mastered that before I went pushing, all I did that night was breathing and relaxing my body. I read that when you are tense the pain gets stronger.

The morning came and I started praising and worshiping, yeah I was staying close to the hospital if you are wondering what the hell was I doing at home all that time? I left home at 10.30am and when I reached the hospital the the nurses that i talked to the previous night asked me  ‘You are back madam pinic ? they told me i took labor as a picnic, cause i was so excited . 'Look at your tummy, it is still up’. they said .I  told them lets go get this baby out, I’m ready, without forgetting to smile. Around 1.30pm my angel arrived.

Pregnancy info: Have you heard of a silent or missed miscarriage?

Many of us know that when you have a miscarriage, the first danger sign would be bleeding. Thought there are some cases where some pregnant women find themselves bleeding but they luckily do not loose their pregnancy. When I was growing up some years back I remember hearing some people saying that ‘she kept seeing her periods for months only to find out that she was 5 months pregnant’  there must be some scientific explanation to this or probably they were just cooking up stories. I know about seeing spots, but bleeding that is something serious.

I have heard of a missed miscarriage through a friend and until when I read about it that is when I understood what it really meant. At first I thought they meant that there was suppose to be a miscarriage but the pregnancy was safe. I was wrong and so I thought there could be other people out there who would need to know about this. If you are, or you know some pregnant women who would go for months without check up it is time to convince them to go find out how their little ones are doing in there because a missed or silent miscarriage may not show you an obvious sign.

After bleeding and cramping, many women heave a sigh of relief when the doctor tells them they’ve had a “missed miscarriage”. While the words may mean that the woman has missed the miscarriage, it actually has a very different definition.

A missed miscarriage is when the fetus in a woman’s womb dies, but the pregnancy continues. In short, unlike the classic miscarriage (wherein a woman bleeds and passes tissues and clots), this type of spontaneous abortion does not cause the fetus to be expelled from the mother’s body. Not knowing she has miscarried can cause more complications once the fetus is left dead in the uterus. Unfortunately, some women are not aware at all until ultrasound and Doppler exams have been performed by her doctor to reveal a non-moving, non-breathing fetus. This type of miscarriage is also called “silent pregnancy” or “missed abortion”. Most cases occur within the first trimester, or twelve weeks of pregnancy. If this type of miscarriage occurs past the first trimester, it is given the name late missed miscarriage.

A woman may experience a sudden decrease in her typical pregnancy signs. For instance, she may not feel nauseous anymore, or her breasts may feel less sore. A missed miscarriage is different because brownish vaginal discharge precedes the bright red bleeding. Tests such as a Doppler exam (to listen for heartbeat) and an ultrasound (to view the baby) are done routinely during prenatal checkups, and this may be the only time a woman finds out she has silently miscarried.

Once the diagnosis has been made, the mother is immediately scheduled for an emergency D&C (dilatation and curettage). The doctor dilates the cervix and with the use of a surgical instrument that’s shaped like a spoon, scrapes the contents of the uterus to empty it. This is crucial in order to prevent infection that may lead to sepsis, or worse, death of the mother. After the treatment, a woman must be given psychological support for her loss.

Source; http://www.pregnancywizard.com

Pregnant Women and Their Fears

Happy or unhappy, prepared or not, many pregnant women find themselves with so much fear after knowing that they are pregnant. It is one thing after the other, each day of their journey, I guess this could be one of the reasons some of them are so bitter.

Handling the stress coming with pregnancy is something that needs so much effort, especially spiritually. You need to remind yourself day in day out that you are so blessed to carry that baby in you and GOD is the one who is responsible for our lives.

Loosing the Baby

The biggest fear of all for pregnant women is loosing the baby that you have already accepted and looking forward to see. I remember checking my bed sheets every time I leave my bed, worrying that maybe I have started bleeding. I had hundreds of nightmares all relating with loosing my pregnancy. A friend of mine reminded me to start praying so hard concerning the dreams. I made a decision as a future mother to start praying for me and my baby, asking GOD to give me a stronger FAITH that what I’m carrying is from him and he has the final say.

So, I said to myself, each day with this pregnancy is a gift because I know there are millions of women out there who would wish to know that they are capable of conceiving. I told GOD that I will be grateful for whatever he had in the store for me. If it was a one month pregnant and that what he wanted for me then it is ok if it was nine months with a baby I will be thankful too. I know this sounds a bit crazy to both believers and none believers who are reading this right now, but this is what helped me to conquer the fear of loosing my baby.

There are so many reasons for having this kind of fear and one of them is having a miscarriage experience. You keep wondering if it is going to happen again. My friend, this is natural but then again you need to stay positive for good results. Research, talk to people and pray, just to get the right way of staying positive no matter what happened to you. I hope some will share their experience so that we know other ways of staying positive. So many people get miscarriages because of stress, so it is the last thing you need when pregnant.

Age could be another factor of getting a pregnant woman worry. Maybe it is a risky age to have a child so you wonder if you will go to the end. Medical reports saying that you have tumor or some complications so you will not be able to have a baby could be another reason.

Other Worries

Hannah, two months before falling pregnant

Women always have something to worry about, pregnant or not. I’m trying to imagine in  normal circumstances many women would not want to gain weight and now that you are pregnant you will definitely go crazy, ‘How am I going to look like?’ will my partner still love me with a huge body? Will I still look sexy? We have So many unnecessary worries that  can be avoided if we choose to focus on the Prize.

Hannah, One month to the prize

I can say that I had always wondered how I was going to look like when pregnant. In my first three months I lost almost 5kg and by the end of the day I gained almost 19kg…yeah! I know right! I was like a balloon and could not recognize me at all.

Enjoy your pregnancy no matter how you think you look like, it is a blessing having a human being growing in your tummy. I believe you can still look stylish and sexy and it all starts in your mind

News;New kind of Breast Cancer

In    November, a rare kind of breast cancer was    found. A lady developed a rash on her   breast,  similar to that of young mothers   who are  nursing..

Because    her mammogram had been clear, the doctor   treated  her with antibiotics for   infections.. After 2  rounds, it continued   to get worse, so her doctor  sent her for   another mammogram. This time it  showed a   mass.

A   biopsy found a fast  growing malignancy.  Chemo  was started in order  to shrink the  growth; then  a mastectomy was  performed;  then a full round of  Chemo; then   radiation.. After about 9 months of    intense treatment, she was given a clean   bill of  health.

She    had one year of living each day to    its  fullest.  Then  the cancer returned  to the liver area.  She  took 4 treatments and  decided that she   wanted quality of life, not the  after   effects of Chemo.. She had 5 great months    and she planned each detail of the final   days.  After a few days of needing   morphine, she died.  She left this message   to be delivered to women  everywhere:


Women,    PLEASE be alert to anything that is not   normal,  and be persistent in getting help   as soon as  possible.  

Paget's    Disease:  This is a   rare form of breast cancer, and is  on the   outside of the breast, on the nipple  and  aureole  It appeared as a rash, which later   became a  lesion with a crusty outer edge.   I would not  have ever suspected it to be   breast cancer but  it was. My nipple never   seemed any different to  me, but the rash   bothered me, so I went to the  doctor for   that. Sometimes, it itched and was  sore,   but other than that it didn't bother me.    It was just ugly and a nuisance, and could   not  be cleared up with all the creams   prescribed by  my doctor and dermatologist   for the dermatitis  on my eyes just prior   to this outbreak. They  seemed a little   concerned but did not warn me it  could be   cancerous.


Now,    I suspect not many women out there know a   lesion  or rash on the nipple or aureole   can  be  breast  cancer.    (Mine started out as a single red pimple   on the  aureole. One of the biggest   problems with  Paget's disease of the   nipple is that the  symptoms appear to be   harmless. It is frequently  thought to be a   skin inflammation or infection,  leading to   unfortunate delays in detection and  care.)    


What    are the symptoms?  

1.    A persistent redness, oozing, and crusting   of  your nipple causing it to itch and burn   (As I  stated, mine did not itch or burn   much, and had  no oozing I was aware of,   but it did have a  crust along the outer   edge on one side.)

2.  A sore  on  your nipple that will not heal. (Mine   was on  the aureole area with a whitish  thick  looking  area in center of  nipple).

3  Usually  only one nipple  is affected. How is it   diagnosed? Your  doctor will do a physical exam   and should  suggest having a mammogram of both    breasts, done immediately.. Even though   the  redness, oozing and crusting closely   resemble  dermatitis (inflammation of the   skin), your  doctor should suspect cancer   if the sore is only  on one breast. Your   doctor should order a biopsy  of your sore   to confirm what is going  on.

This    message should be taken seriously and   passed on  to as many of your relatives and   friends as  possible; it could save   someone's life.

My  breast  cancer  has spread and metastasized to my   bones after  receiving mega doses of   chemotherapy, 28  treatments of radiation  and  taking Tamaxofin  If this had been  diagnosed as  breast cancer in  the  beginning, perhaps it would  not have   spread....

TO  ALL   READERS:

This is sad as women are    not aware of Paget's disease. If, by   passing  this around on the e-mail, we can   make others  aware of it and its potential   danger, we are  helping women  everywhere.

Please,  if you  can, take a moment to  share this  message  to as many people as  possible,  especially  to your family and  friends. It only  takes  a moment, yet the  results could save a    life.

Now that I’m pregnant what do I do?

Sinking the news in your system takes a little time, i guess this is what happens to everywoman. There are moments that you feel like you are in a dream and then you smile and tell yourself No, it’s real. The whole thing of having a real person forming in your tummy is so scary and exciting too.

Thanks to technology most mothers nowadays surf about everything, from tea recipes to ‘how to know if your husband is cheating’. Many of us will start befriending Google for tips on pregnancy. This is what i did. It is a good thing to know the development of your baby in the tummy and so i subscribed myself on babycentre website for different tips and getting to know how my baby grow each week of the pregnancy.

Browsing isn’t a bad idea for those who can, and if you have access to internet i would recommend you read and read and read about the whole journey but be very careful not to practice everything you read. There are opinions on website and it is not necessary that everyone who comments is right. One way can work for this person but it doesn’t mean it may work for you and let’s put in mind that pregnancy experiences vary from one woman to another.

From day one i kept waiting for morning sickness just because that is what i have been hearing all my life. I knew all pregnant women have to vomit in the morning, feel dizzy and high fever. So when i don’t see some signs i panicked thinking that something could be wrong with my baby or probably the test had errors. It took a while for me to start vomiting and the funny part for me i have evening sickness. I remember someone saying ‘mmmh you are just exaggerating or scared for nothing because pregnant women don’t vomit in the evening, it happens in the morning’.  Just because you had a certain situation it doesn’t mean everyone will go through the same situation. It is very important to ask your Doctor or any Gyno you have access with about every little thing you hear before practising any of it.

One thing i knew for sure is to stay health. I had to eat a balanced diet, i’m not a water person but for my baby i drank water like fish, lots of all fruits i could eat and vegetables for blood. The rest i had to check with my Gyno.

So, basically the first three months means so much to development of your baby in the tummy. Don’t fall for comments like ‘our mothers never used to do A and B and we turned up ok’ , Our mothers did so many other things that i’m sure you cannot do now, why choose the life of your baby as a sample? Don’t risk because we don’t know what we are carrying until something happens.

I could not believe i had to drop my tea and my favourite soda (Cocacola), chocolates, energy drinks etc for the fear of caffeine. You will find in many reports that caffeine is not good for the development of the baby.

‘Now that you are pregnant, it is important to ensure that both you and your baby stay strong and healthy. Though it may be difficult, this is the time to give up all those bad habits, like smoking and alcohol consumption. It is also a good idea to give up food or beverages that contain caffeine. Though you may be hesitant to give up your morning cup of coffee, caffeine has been associated with a number of prenatal risks. When consumed in high doses, caffeine has even been linked with increased rates of miscarriage’ writes Epigee Women health website.

Once you accept the fact that you are going to be a mother and you would love to have a normal healthy child, all you need is information on how to achieve your goal.

I changed my life style and everyone at home was laughing at me, they thought I was spoiling the baby already. Nobody understands this better than a pregnant woman who cannot to hold her baby for the first time. So it is worthy it. It actually helps you to stay positive even though negative thoughts keep coming back once in a while and this is the most difficult moment a pregnant woman can go through, worries of loosing your baby………………………we will talk about this in the next post.

read more about Caffeine and pregnancy here; http://www.epigee.org/pregnancy/caffeine.html