The Powerful Impact of Parent’s Stress to Children

I have been observing myself as a single parent and my attitude towards my two angels when i'm happy and when i'm stressed. If it wasn't for the times that i was so stressed i know my kids would have picked me to be the best mum in the world, and that is what i want to be but again there is this hard life we are living, so many responsibilities and at times i fail to balance, me as a student, a friend, an employee, a sister, a boss to my maid, a girlfriend i f i will get sometime left to date and most of all a MOTHER.. I cant stop imagining how life is to those who have even more roles to play..the married mothers.

All in all what i'm trying to say is as parents we need to have the stress management skills, it is a MUST for our children's sake and for the sake of the next generation, because what we put our children through today have a huge impact in their lives forever. We are the role models . I cannot even be a little tolerant to my kids when i'm stressed i cant answer the crazy questions kids ask (and my first is in the terrible twos stage), she can even ask where is the food when she is eating it. I yell at them for somethings which do not need me to yell and later when i'm calm i feel terrible quilt.

After reading a few articles about stress and what it does to our children i do want to have the skill of managing my stress and as usual i want to share the information with you.

Writer, Victoria Tennant say that all children experience stress, sometimes significant amounts of it, in their lives. Adults ordinarily fail to recognize the incidence and magnitude of stress in the lives of children. For example, studies have shown that "parents perceive children as having lower levels of stress than children perceive themselves as having."  "parents underestimate how much children worry" (Witkin, KidStress, 1999, p.11).

Our complex modern society has greatly increased the amount of stress adults and children are exposed to. Children are experiencing more stress at younger and younger ages. Even in the womb a child picks up the mother's stress – stress chemicals such as adrenalin and cortisol cross the placenta.

Babies may be too small to understand our words. But they're exquisitely sensitive to their parents' emotions and moods. You would be, too, if you depended on someone for everything you needed to stay alive!, so we can parent stress often equals baby stress.

How babies pick up on parents' stress

"When parents stress, the kids are going to be stressed," says Andrew Garner, MD. "We know that from a variety of research that's been done in both humans and animals." If there's too much stress and emotional upheaval in a baby's life, that can lead to long-term consequences.

"When parents are consumed by their worries," Garner says, "they are less attentive to the needs of their baby, which can leave the baby feeling isolated and afraid. Kids also learn from modeling, so you model the way you manage stress. If you model good stress management -- taking a deep breath, counting to 10, making time for exercise -- they learn from that. They also learn from maladaptive stress management, like yelling, adopting unhealthy lifestyles, and becoming isolated or withdrawn."

All this can happen at a very young age, says Sandra Weiss, PhD, DNSc, RN, FAAN. In her research, she's found that when mothers show signs of psychological distress, children as young as 2 are more likely to exhibit psychological distress themselves.

In fact, a CDC report found that "toxic stress" -- adverse experiences sustained over a long period of time -- can actually change how a child's brain develops. "Prolonged exposure to stress hormones can impact the brain and impair functioning in a number of ways," the report notes.

 Here are some examples:

• Toxic stress can impair the connection of brain circuits and lead to the development of a smaller brain.
• Children can become overly reactive to adverse experiences throughout their lives, developing a low stress threshold.
• High levels of stress hormones can suppress the body's immune response, leading to chronic health problems.
• Sustained high levels of certain stress hormones can damage areas of the brain important for learning and memory.
•  

A Child Learns and Remembers Best When Calm and Positive

·      When one is calm and alert, the prefrontal lobes are free to engage in higher level thinking tasks. Positive emotions help a child to pay attention, concentrate, solve problems, be creative, learn and remember (Goleman, p. 85).

·       Researchers at the HeartMath Institute found that positive emotions such as feelings of love, appreciation, peacefulness, and playfulness produce an even heart beat rhythm. This forms a harmonious, coherent heart pattern that looks like a mathematically regular wave. Coherent heart rhythms create coherent brain waves. These harmonious rhythms allow the thinking brain to optimally receive and create patterns from incoming information (Childre & Martin, p.37). Recognizing and creating patterns enable us to make sense of the world, learn from our experiences and solve problems (Hannaford, p.3).

·      Feeling relaxed, alert and positive balances the dopamine system so we can pay attention, recognize patterns and think clearly (Bailey, pp. 45-47). Dopamine stimulates the brain's reward pathways. This drives motivation – it feels good so we want to repeat the experience. Serotonin is associated with feelings of well being. "Serotonin works hand in hand with dopamine. The dopamine system helps us focus, while the serotonin system keeps us from being overwhelmed with too much incoming stimuli. Serotonin is like calming music in the doctor's office" (Bailey, p. 47).

                                                   

Young children may experience stress from:

• disrupted homes, blended families, both parents working outside the home;
• increased exposure to violence, both real and on the screen;
• excessive screen time;
• being over scheduled;
• feeling pressured to perform or behave beyond their ability. (Witkin, p.2)

Common stress producers for teens (in addition to the above):

·         failing an exam

·         physical appearance

·         judgment or evaluation by others

·         unrealistic classroom demands

·         the future

·         problems with peers

·         problems with a boyfriend or girlfriend

·         any situation that threatens self-esteem

·         disagreements with teachers, parents or other adults (Feinstein, Secrets of the Teenage Brain, 2004, p.94)

·          

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, my prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

ATHARI ZITOKANAZO NA KUMPA MAJI MTOTO MCHANGA

Drinking water can be harmful to smallest babies

By Anne Harding

NEW YORK | Wed May 21, 2008 2:42pm EDT

(Reuters Health) - Babies younger than six months old should never be given water to drink, physicians at Johns Hopkins Children's Center in Baltimore remind parents. Consuming too much water can put babies at risk of a potentially life-threatening condition known as water intoxication.

"Even when they're very tiny, they have an intact thirst reflex or a drive to drink," Dr. Jennifer Anders, a pediatric emergency physician at the center, told Reuters Health. "When they have that thirst and they want to drink, the fluid they need to drink more of is their breast milk or formula."

Because babies' kidneys aren't yet mature, giving them too much water causes their bodies to release sodium along with excess water, Anders said. Losing sodium can affect brain activity, so early symptoms of water intoxication can include irritability, drowsiness and other mental changes. Other symptoms include low body temperature (generally 97 degrees or less), puffiness or swelling in the face, and seizures.

"It's a sneaky kind of a condition," Anders said. Early symptoms are subtle, so seizures may be the first symptom a parent notices. But if a child gets prompt medical attention, the seizures will probably not have lasting consequences, she added.

Water as a beverage should be completely off limits to babies six months old and younger, Anders and her colleagues say. Parents should also avoid using over-diluted formula, or pediatric drinks containing electrolytes.

Anders said it may be appropriate in some cases to give older infants a small amount of water; for example to help with constipation or in very hot weather, but parents should always check with their pediatrician before doing so, and should only give the baby an ounce or two of water at a time.

If a parent thinks their child may have water intoxication, or if an infant as a seizure, they should seek medical attention immediately, she advised.

Drinking Water for infants & babies

As written by the free drinking water website… Newborn babies do just fine with formula or breast milk; drinking water is not recommended until about 6-12 months (too much water can cause jaundice or intoxication). For children under 1 years old drinking too much water may be a dangerous practice because it dilutes a baby’s normal sodium levels. Breast milk or formula provides all the fluid healthy babies need. Keep in mind that breastmilk is 88% water. 

For newborns (especially under 4-5 weeks), water supplements can be risky
• Babies under two months old should not be given supplemental water
• Too much water can lead to oral water intoxication
• Babies who get water supplements are less interested in nursing. If baby is not nursing as often as they should it will take longer for the mom’s milk to come in
• Water supplements fill the baby without adding calories. This can result in insufficient weight gain or weight loss

For babies past the newborn stage
• Too much water can interfere with breastfeeding because it fills the baby up so he nurses less. Water does not give the baby the nutrition it needs to grow.
• When your baby is beginning to learn a cup, giving him a few sips of water a couple times a day is okay.
• Once your baby starts eating solids you may give him a few sips of water to help prevent constipation. 

While most of the medical world pushes breast feeding, many moms opt for formula or in fact, must use the substitute for health reasons. Whatever the reason behind not using breast milk, attention must be focused on one crucial ingredient to formula: water. The World Health Organization states, "...concentrations of nutrient minerals in drinking water may contribute significantly to the total trace element and mineral intake of infants and young children...especially applicable to formula-fed infants during the first months of life, who may be the most vulnerable group affected by excessive concentrations of nutrients or contaminants in drinking water."

Formula can come ready to drink, which parents can be assured is safe. Formula also comes in powder mixture, which water is mixed with. Because the latter infants will be in taking so much water through formula, the safety of that water should be the parents' focus. In an astonishing statistic, infants receive 40-60% of the lead they are exposed to through drinking water, which can cause damages including mental retardation. Nitrate, chlorine, aluminum and fluoride are other worries for babies drinking formula made with tap water. For this reason, most formula companies recommend bottled water or boiled tap water. Also, homes with water purification systems will be on the safer side. Contamination of water needs to limited.

What about hot weather?
In very hot weather, your baby may be losing extra water without urinating, so in these special cases it may be okay to offer a baby 1-2 ounces of water between feedings. Most babies will do well with just a little bit of extra formula so there is no need to force this. Breast fed babies are even less likely to need extra water. A newborn baby should pee at least once in 24 hours, twice in the second 24 hours, and three times every day thereafter. If you are concerned your baby is dehydrated contact your health care provider.

For toddlers, pure drinking water can also aid in healthy teeth and gums. Many toddlers need a bottle to go to sleep with or they get antsy. But, giving a bottle of juice or milk can cause tooth decay. A bottle of water is suggested instead.

According to TodaysParent.com, until babies begin to eat food, they will get all of the nutrition they need from breast milk and formula. But, the site also says once a baby is older and drinking from a cup, water is preferred over juice as it satisfies thirst. (Plus, it will start a healthy water habit early!) Being a parent is far from easy but watching your kids grow healthy one step at a time is truly worth all the effort.

Kegel exercises: guide for women

Kegel exercises can help you prevent or control urinary incontinence and other pelvic floor problems.

By Mayo Clinic staff

 

Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder, small intestine and rectum. You can do Kegel exercises, also known as pelvic floor muscle training, discreetly just about anytime. 

Start by understanding what Kegel exercises can do for you — then follow step-by-step instructions for contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. 

Why Kegel exercises matter

Many factors can weaken your pelvic floor muscles, including pregnancy, childbirth, surgery, aging and being overweight.

You might benefit from doing Kegel exercises if you:

• Leak a few drops of urine while sneezing, laughing or coughing
• Have a strong, sudden urge to urinate just before losing a large amount of urine (urinary incontinence)

Kegel exercises can be done during pregnancy or after childbirth to try to prevent urinary incontinence. Kegel exercises — along with counseling and sex therapy — might also be helpful for women who have persistent difficulty reaching orgasm.

Keep in mind that Kegel exercises are less helpful for women who have severe urine leakage when they sneeze, cough or laugh. Also, Kegel exercises aren't helpful for women who unexpectedly leak small amounts of urine due to a full bladder (overflow incontinence). 

How to do Kegel exercises

It takes diligence to identify your pelvic floor muscles and learn how to contract and relax them. Here are some pointers:

• Find the right muscles. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream. If you succeed, you've got the right muscles.
• Perfect your technique. Once you've identified your pelvic floor muscles, empty your bladder and lie on your back. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for five seconds, and then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.
• Maintain your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.
• Repeat 3 times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.

Don't make a habit of using Kegel exercises to start and stop your urine stream. Doing Kegel exercises while emptying your bladder can actually weaken the muscles, as well as lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder — which increases the risk of a urinary tract infection.

MAOMBI WAKATI WA UJAUZITO

(KWA WANAOAMINI KATIKA JINA LAYESU).....asieamini anakaribishwa kuonja/jaribu ujionee

MAANDIKO:ZABURI 127:3,MWANZO 1:28

VIPENGELE VYA MAOMBI

I. Damu ya Yesu(x3), Katika jina la Yesu(x3)

II. Baba wa Mbinguni,Muumba wa mbingu na nchi,ninakuabudu. Bwana,ninayakabidhi kwako 

maisha yangu na ya mtoto aliyeko tumboni mwangu ili uyatawale ,katika jina la Yesu.

III. Maendeleo yote ya mtoto huyu,ninayaacha mikononi mwako.

IV. Bwana,tupatie fedha mimi na mume wangu ili tuweze kumlea na kumtunza mtoto huyu,katika jina la Yesu.

V. Ninaagiza moto wa Roho Mtakatifu uteketeze kila mkono mbaya utakaogusa tumbo hili kwa lengo la kuharibu ujauzito huu,katika jina la Yesu.

VI. Ninalipiga upofu kila jicho lenye hila dhidi ya mtoto wanguu,katika jina la Yesu(x2)

VII. Ninabatilisha kila shmbulizi la kipepo dhidi ya mtoto wangu,katika jina la Yesu(x3)

VIII. Popote pale ambapo kuna wachawi wanaopanga kumchukua mwanangu, ninafutilia mbali jitihada zao hizo na kuamuru moto wa Roho Mtakatifu uwateketeze hadi pale watakapomwachia mwanangu,katika jina la Yesu.

IX. Ninaharibu kila hila za shetani na mwakala wake huko hospitalinni,nyumbani au popote pale,ambazo zimeandaliwa kunizuia nisijifungue salam,katika jina la Yesu (x3)

X. Ninajizamisha damuni mwa Yesu mimi na mwanangu,katika jina la Yesu.(x3)

XI. Ninatamka na kudai usalama wa maisha yangu na mwanangu aliyeko tumboni,katika jina la Yesu(x3)

XII. Ninaiffunika kwa damu ya Yesu nyumba yangu pamoja na hospitali nitakayokwenda kujifungua(itaje jina)

XIII. Ninatamka kuwa manesi na madaktari wa hospitali hii(itaje jina) watafanyika vyombo vya Mungu vitakavyonisaidia nijifungue sala,a,katika jina la Yesu.

XIV. Asante Bwana kwa kuyajibu maombi yangu,katika jina la Yesu .

Amina